As unfortunate as it is, the reality is that every single one of us is going to have to deal with a broken heart at some point in our lives. And boy, is it rough! It feels like the world around us comes crashing down, and it often feels like there’s nothing you can do to save yourself.
While the fact of the matter is that things will never be the same for you as a person again, another truth is that heartbreak can actually change you for the better- and who you become afterward is actually a more mature and stronger person. The key here is how to pick yourself up after a broken heart.
It may be assumed that men and women take on different approaches. Men think that dealing with a breakup requires different methods than what women do. And while at times, men tend to take different strategies to deal with heartache, the key towards healing are steps that are universal and applicable to both men and women alike.
A terrible mistake that too many people often make is that they feel the need to bury and hide their true feelings after a breakup. This is the worst thing you can do. Don’t ever assume that by denying the existence of your feelings, that this will somehow cause them to disappear.
The only thing you’re doing here is allowing bad feelings to fester, and it will only be a matter of time before they come up and affect yours again. Don’t neglect your emotions. Allow yourself to feel the pain and allow yourself to feel all the feelings that you otherwise would be ashamed of. The first step towards healing is accepting that you are hurt.
Once you’ve come face to face with what you feel- be it anger, shame, pain, neglect- it’s time now to take a step back and look at everything from a distance and from a logical point of view. Be honest with yourself, and try to let go of your ego and really delve deep into why this break up happened.
It takes two people to either make something work or not. Of course, it is a complicated matter because it rarely is 50-50 situations, so you want to be as honest as possible to assess the matter and really understand what went wrong.
The best way to get a well-rounded assessment of what happened is to talk to someone you trust. Make sure it’s not someone that’s biased towards you only, though! Real friends will be able to hit you with the real truth, even if it means you may be at fault to a certain degree.
This will be therapeutic to you because you will be able to humble yourself and also truly understand the reason behind why things couldn’t go any further with your ex. If you’re feeling really trapped and are unable to speak to your friends, consider seeing a therapist.
Once you come to terms with what actually happened and look at the situation from a critical and logical point of view rather than from an emotional one, you’ll finally be able to step away from your heartbreak. And it won’t be in a manner where it no longer exists- the right way to do so is to walk away with plenty of lessons learned so that when you move on, you move on with a purpose.
Now that you have your lessons learned and can put your relationship in the past where it belongs, you can finally accept that it’s time to move on. The best way to do this is to try your best not to jump into another relationship right away. This is because it’s crucial that, after a breakup, you really focus on working on yourself.
Becoming self-sufficient and reliant again reminds you of how to love yourself and to become confident and independent. You’ll be reminded of how much fun you can have alone, and doing things to better yourself will go a long way in helping you grow. It’s never easy to deal with a broken heart, but there is a right way to go about it.
If you follow the tips provided here, you’ll understand how to work through it realistically and beneficially that will allow you to make the best out of a challenging and painful situation. And once you’ve worked through each process, you’ll find that you’ll come out better and stronger as an individual, ready for the world.
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