When it comes to parenting, there is no right or wrong way to parent. Everyone has their own way of going about things that work for themselves and their children. However, with that being said, there is one thing that every parent should have in common – the ability to connect with their kids on a deep and meaningful level. It’s been shown in numerous studies that those children who had parents who connected with them growing up and throughout their lives are much better off than those children who had parents who had trouble connecting.
If you are a parent who is wondering how you can connect more with your sons and/or daughters, then this is the article for you. There is nothing more important in the development of your child than connecting with them on a meaningful level. Keep reading down below if you are wondering how you can do this and improve the chances that your child will succeed in the future.
1. A Lot Of Parents Have A Negative Self-Image
If you do not love yourself, then how can you expect to love anyone else? Many parents have negative self-image problems that stem from eating disorders or depression or anxiety. When parents have these negative self-image issues, then they are likely to portray that onto their kids, making it impossible to show them the love that they need.
It’s crucial that every parent takes the proper steps to dealing with these problems before they try to figure out how to connect more with their children. When you have a negative self-image, it’s like a barrier that stops you from truly loving anyone else. Take the steps to start loving yourself and you will find it much easier to love someone else.
2. Some Parents Are Too Immature Or Underdeveloped
It’s true that some parents are just not ready for parenthood. It takes a lot out of you in order to raise a child and give your all to help them succeed. Everything from changing diapers to helping them with schoolwork to dealing with the challenges of puberty are things that can cause a tear between a parent and his or her children.
Because of this immaturity, it may come that you start to resent your children for causing you so much stress and anxiety. When dealing with mental issues of recovering from addiction, it is crucial to show your child the love and affection they need, because whatever happens with you affects them the most.
3. Some People Find It Difficult To Accept Love
A lot of the times, parents might have been hurt emotionally or been deprived of love as they were growing up. There are many different cases where this might have happened, but a lot of the times, this will result in parents not being able to show love or accept love. Without dealing with these inner issues, there is no way that a parent will be able to love and truly connect with his or her children.
4. There Is Some Unresolved Trauma That Hasn’t Been Dealt With
If you are a parent who has been through the toughest times and those times have scared you and now you are left with a trauma in your life, this could bring up issues when connecting with your child. Especially if your child is in the age range where you experienced the trauma, this could cause you to reject your child or overcompensate to help them out. For example, if you were bullied in school because of who you were, then when you child reaches this age, you will either reject helping them at all or overcompensate by helping too much.
Neither of these options are great for your child. It’s important to deal with your own issues and traumatic issues before you try to help your kid.
5. Death Anxiety Is a Real Problem
Sometimes parents can have a real fear of death that becomes greater as they see their kids grow up. Children getting older is a literal physical reminder that parents are getting older and will die someday. This can cause parents to resent their children in the worst cases and ignore them in the best cases. Either way, there is no connection that’s going to happen between you and your child when you don’t deal with this anxiety of dying.
You will become more and more self-protective as you get older and hold onto this anxiety about death. And when you are self-protective, you are more likely to lash against other people, including your own children.
6. There Are Some Parents Who Use Their Children As Immortality Projects
Many parents will try to make their children into “immortality projects”, which are basically mini versions of themselves. This is their way of dealing with death anxiety and ensuring that they are kept on in the form of their child. Now, this might seem a bit weird, but it’s pretty common when it comes to parents.
However, this no good for the connection you have with your child. This is going to cause plenty of resentment and conflict whenever your child might deviate from the personality and actions that you wish they would follow.
7. Some Parents Have An Unfulfilled Desire For Love And Care From Their Childhood
Many times, parents provide their kids with way too much love because they have an unfulfilled desire for love and care that they missed in their childhood. This is no good for your connection with your child because this type of love is way too smothering. This kind of hungry need for love on the parent’s side is just going to cause your child to move farther and farther away from you emotionally.
8. There Are Just Some Parenting Styles That Aren’t So Good For Kids
Of course, there are just some parenting styles that are not good for your child’s development. For example, some parenting styles can lead to kids that are anxious, depressed, who act out, or who are hostile to others.
There you have it. It’s true that some parents just fail to connect with their children for one reason or another that we discussed above.
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