Shakespeare Insult Generator: Thou Shall Say It Like Shakespeare

How would you like to be able to whip out a Shakespeare insult on the fly whenever necessary? This is such an oldie but a goodie. I remember seeing this make the rounds on the Internet a few years ago, and I didn’t write about it back then. Now it’s picking up a little steam again, so I had to share it with you. Reading Shakespeare is one of those things that every high school student dreads, or at least everybody who went to my school. Getting through those books was like a rite of passage into adulthood. I never read them though. Right about that time was when I learned about CliffsNotes, and I never looked back. Kids, if I just spilled the beans on something major here, don’t tell your parents you learned it from me.

Even though reading Shakespeare might be more painful than poking your eyeballs out with an ice pick, the words in those books are kinda funny. If you are a Shakespeare fan (even a tiny one), this Shakespeare insult generator will give you a giggle.

It’s easy to use. All you have to do is chose one word from each of the three columns below. Then, add the word “Thou” to the beginning. It’s as simple as that. You will have created the perfect Shakespeare insult. Wouldn’t it be way more fun to belt one of these badboys out the window to bad drivers instead of flipping them off? Just wait until the next time you get in an argument with your friend. You can slip a Shakespeare insult into the mix and you’ll confuse your friend so much that the argument will be over.

There are a few people who have taken this rank elf-skinned clack-dish and turned it into an online version. One of them is Colin Bell who converted it to a short PHP script (download available), which makes it into a randomizer. You can check that out at Coyote Productions. Oh, and if you want to follow Shakespeare on Twitter, he’s apparently at @IAM_SHAKESPEARE. The next time someone makes me mad, I’m going to yell “thou mewling flap-mouthed maggot-pie!” and see what happens. I can’t wait. tee hee