How To: Manage Your Twitter Addiction

I featured @Jason_Pollock’s picture in this article because he is, by far, the biggest Twitter addict I know.

When he tweeted this clip below that he made with @aplusk about Twitter addiction, I laughed so hard my stomach hurt.

Then, I began to think about Twitter addiction. Is it real or is it just another way for the people around us to make us feel guilty about something we really enjoy?

I start sweating and getting nervous if I’m away from Twitter for more than a few hours, so for me, Twitter addiction is very real. I’ve also decided that there is nothing wrong with it (spoken like a true addict, no doubt). Twitter is changing the way we define friendships, networking, and the way we communicate with the rest of the world. I plan to embrace that for a long time to come!

Enjoy this video from @Jason_Pollock and @aplusk, and then read below as I’ve given you a few ideas for how you can manage your own Twitter addiction, and of course, get a few laughs along the way.

How do you know if you are addicted to Twitter?

If you are tweeting while you read this post, you are probably addicted to Twitter. If you have trouble breathing and uncontrollably hit refresh over and over when Twitter is down, you are probably addicted to Twitter. If you tweet in your dreams at night, you are probably addicted to Twitter.

Take this test to determine to what degree of an addict you really are so you know exactly how serious your condition is: http://theoatmeal.com/quiz/twitter_addict

Managing Twitter At Work:

1. If you are a true Twitter addict, you have to Tweet while at work. But what if you’re not allowed to use Twitter at work? There is a Twitter client designed for this exact situation. It will make your Twitter look exactly like an excel spreadsheet so your boss will think you are getting your work done! Hide Twitter From Your Boss with Spreadtweet: https://elliottkember.com/spreadtweet

2. If your co-workers turn off your Twitter, just do what @Jason_Pollock did in the video above and hijack their equipment. Haha!

3. If there is a fire drill at work, as this sign below illustrates, it is not appropriate to tweet while exiting the building.

Managing Twitter At Home:

1. “I don’t talk, I tweet.” – That’s your motto, right? We Twitter addicts often forget to check email and phone messages. We get so caught up on Twitter, that suddenly email seems so Web 1.0. I’ve had friends that have had to join Twitter in order to contact me because I forget to check those things. Write yourself a note and put it on your computer monitor, next to your Twitter screen, so you remember to stay in contact with the rest of the world.

2. As a Twitter addict, do you find that you often burn dinner because you want to send one last tweet before checking on it? Uh huh, I knew it. Do your kids have to send you a tweet to remind you that it’s dinner time? Set your alarm clock so you know when to walk away from Twitter to check the casserole in the oven, or find a delivery service and you’ll never have to worry about that again!

3. There comes a time when every true Twitter addict realizes they’ve begun thinking in Twitter. They start thinking in 140 character sentences and shorten URLs in their mind. Every thought suddenly has the same afterthought, “Hey, I should tweet that!” Most people would say this is the point when we should step away from the computer. But for me, this just makes it that much more fun! When this happens, I suggest… tweeting!

What are your tips for managing your own Twitter addiction? Leave them in a comment below. Oh, and if you need to reach me, tweet me. It’s truly the only way. ;)