The Pros And Cons Of Writing Your Own Wedding Vows

Getting married is a wonderful event that joins you together with the person you love, usually in the presence of all your friends and family. So why is getting married so challenging and stressful for many of us when the big day finally arrives? Could it have something to do with the wedding vows?

Well, for one thing, there are about a million details that need to be thought about and carefully planned in order for the wedding day to run smoothly and without hiccups. You’ll find that putting a lot of preparation into all the major details of your wedding will really help to make it the best day of your life.

Writing Wedding Vows – Yes Or No?

[pullquote]One of the big questions that needs to be decided in advance is: what words will you choose as your wedding vows?[/pullquote] This question is so important because your wedding vows are the words you will say to each other during the ceremony, and they represent your promise of love and commitment to each other.

Now, there are plenty of traditional wedding vows that have been used by many generations of couples, some of which come from the church, and some of which are rooted in even more ancient rituals of marriage. But nowadays many couples choose to write their own wedding vows, and thereby, create their own personal message of love and commitment.

Have you decided whether to write your own vows or to rely on trusted traditional ones? In case you aren’t sure which option is best for you, we have put together this list of the advantages and disadvantages of writing your own vows.

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The Pros

  1. If you write your own vows they are truly personal, since they come from you and are not copied from anyone else’s wedding. Since marriage is very personal, it makes sense that your vows should be personal too.
  2. You can choose words that perfectly reflect your own style, instead of following the crowd. Getting married represents a unique opportunity to communicate your deepest feelings in your very own style.
  3. You can share the intimacy of your love with the wedding guests. Your wedding day is that wonderful moment when you can publicly declare your love to the world, and this is best done in your own words.

The Cons

  1. Maybe you’ll feel awkward because you’re not a poet. While some people are great at talking about romantic and intimate issues, others are not so skilled at it.
  2. Traditional wedding vows are tried and trusted. The words used in traditional vows are powerful and they get the job done – so why reinvent the wheel?
  3. Maybe you and your fiance have very different styles, so you could write vows that aren’t compatible. In that case, it’s better to go with more standard vows, since you’ll be on the same page during your wedding.

Whether you choose to write your own vows or to go with more traditional ones, make sure you are both comfortable with the decision and can put it into practice smoothly. If you decide to be courageous and write your own marriage vows, you might find yourself at a loss for words, and don’t know where to start. But don’t worry, here are some tips to help you get started.

How To Write Your Own Vows

Writing your own vows means the words should come from you, but there is nothing wrong with getting inspiration from others. So a good place to start is to look at collections of quotes about love and marriage. While you read them you’ll probably feel your own feelings of love being evoked, and that’s exactly what you need to start writing. Once you write a sentence or two, you’ll probably find you don’t need any more inspiration, and can take it from there. In fact, you might have to shorten your vows if they turn into a novel of epic proportions.

If you still feel you need more inspiration, look at some examples of wedding vows, both traditional and novel. You’ll see there are so many different ways that people communicate their love to each other on their wedding day, so you should feel comfortable choosing your very own words.


Finally, don’t get too stressed about finding exactly the right words. The most important thing is how you feel, and the right words will surely come to you if you put your trust in that. And always remember: you’re not alone in this, your fiance is going through exactly the same issues, and you can help each other to find the best solution.

For more wedding-related tips and articles here on Bit Rebels, click here!

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