Super Mario: What Lies Beneath The Abyssal Pits

Do you ever wonder if there is anyone out there who has never at some point in his or her life crossed paths with the words Super Mario or never played the damn thing? I did, and I even tried to find out what percentage of the earth’s population has actually played the game or even owned it. But to my surprise, I wasn’t able to find a number accurate enough to include in this article. However, that doesn’t mean that Super Mario isn’t as much of a brand name as, for example, Madonna and Michael Jackson.

But there’s a lot more stuff to think about when it comes to Super Mario. I’m referring to stuff that might not have sprung up in your mind until now because you have been too busy playing or idolizing the game. For example, what happens when you fall down in one of those gaps or pits that continuously keep you from doing a clean run through the game? After all, what’s really down there that makes you die as soon as you hit the screen limit?

Dash Coleman is a designer and geek visionary who has fought the thought and come up with a great illustration of what might be down there awaiting your arrival. When you look at it, it’s quite clear that he’s on the right track. There has to be something haunting in those pits because when you come into their mere proximity, you die just before you fall down into them. And believe me, the hellish abyss that awaits you makes the country up above look like a kindergarten playground.

The fiends you battle on your way to saving the princess are nothing compared to the haunted torture chambers of the deep. Once you’ve fallen down, there is no escaping, and you will find that having three lives is actually an evil spell instead of a blessing. With the three lives, you have to endure three hellish deaths and possibly torture. So next time you play Super Mario, make sure to keep this in mind, and you might instead stick to playing on your front lawn taking in the sunlight and the wind in your hair. #JustSaying

Super Mario Torture Death Pit