Absurd Etsy Posting Offers To Put Nicholas Cage In Any Picture

The things you find on Etsy… I’m honestly still trying to figure out if this one’s serious or not (I’m leaning towards not), but someone’s made a post offering to help people look more like Nicholas Cage, at least in their photos. Photoshop ahoy- whoever sends a picture to the seller with a payment will have themselves a photograph with Cage’s radiant countenance in place of their own ugly mug in a matter of hours. Because hey, who doesn’t want to look more like Nicholas Cage, right?

“I don’t want to do this,” explains the seller, “nor will I gain any personal satisfaction. I’m not some twisted Nick Cage fan; I don’t even watch movies and I can’t explain why he haunts my dreams…I’m doing this because I need $12.”

This isn’t just some hack offering to chop away at a picture with Photoshop, either. The guy’s actually a legitimate artist from Toronto with several gallery showings under his belt, including a recent showing in downtown Toronto. So, hey, at least you know you’ll get your money’s worth, right? He’s also offered a few additional features, including devilish eyes, battle wounds, herpes, a flying squirrel, a black cat, and Christian Slater. Each of these additional features costs a dollar more. A secondary service exists for those who already look like Nicholas Cage where they can pay $6 to look less like him. I dunno, check out the page and Cageify a picture, I guess?